Julia and Lindsey Are Total Pansies

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/4631111.stm

Romance is dead, Long live Romance.

So my boyfriend and I took a really big step a few weeks ago... we traded iTunes libraries. Before we did it, he warned me it would be a big step, he asked me if I was ready. I was so eager to gorge myself on music that I didn’t even think about it... and now it’s too late. I own all of his digital music and he owns all of mine. The implications didn’t really register until last week when I realized that we had just effectively killed the mix-cd-as-present.
There is no song that he could put on a mix that I don't already own. This is insanely depressing! The ipod alone killed it as I would put other mixes he made on my ipod before really listening to them. What, you think I sit around listening to CDs!?! I was riding home on the train and the song "She's a rainbow" by the Rolling Stones came on. I thought, kind of wistfully, about what an awesome song that would be on a lovey dovey mix. I checked the display and sure enough "Anniversary Mix" it was. Shit.
There is something about gorging oneself on music that makes it all mean less. When you can want and have everything it leads to a kind of apathy. Why should I buy a CD? I won't only partially because I can download it for free, but I think more because a) I know I'll probably only like a portion of it. b) It'll go on my ipod and I'll probably hear it on shuffle, not recognize it and skip it and c) I have 3,000 songs at my fingertips at all times.... why would I spend $12 to get a few more? Now, I hate to bad-talk the ipod. I love it, I trust it and when it broke, it broke my heart. BUT it may be fair to say that the ipod killed something beautiful. And I let it happen. I was complicit and then nailed the final stake in the coffin with my insatiable thirst for music. I don't even like Radiohead but now I have 4 albums within arms grasp at all times, what have I done?!!

The Things We Do For Snapple

Picture this:

A young woman walks down 5th Avenue in Brooklyn late on a Friday afternoon, listening to her iPod and feeling pretty satisfied with herself for fitting her Target purchases into her big red cart that she usually reserves for trips to the laundromat. Mostly, she is just looking forward to getting home and enjoying one of the Snapple Diet Peach Iced Teas that she just bought in a 12 pack, saving herself and her roommate/co-Snapple-addict a couple bucks.

Her stride is interrupted when the front wheels of the cart strike an uneven crack in the sidewalk. The world starts moving in slow motion and the woman realizes with resignation that not only is the cart going down, but she is going down with it. Soon the cart is lying flat on the ground, the woman is lying stomach-down on top of it, and the 12 pack is hemorrhaging (sp?) iced tea. After a significant amount of cursing and detangling herself from her headphone wires, she spends the next five to ten minutes rescuing the uninjured Snapple bottles from shards of broken glass. Good news: 9 bottles were salvaged. Also fortunate that this happened in front of a dumpster, which was a convenient place to put the wet cardboard container and the remnants of the teas that didn't make it, and that so far there is no evidence of tiny glass shards embedded in my, I mean her, fingers.

This may be the most dramatic of mishaps involving the shopping cart, but is by no means the first. The jury is still out on the value of the cart, which, while it does save your muscle power, is heavy, awkward, and kind of expensive. Please share any opinions on the shopping cart, pro or con, if you have them. And next time you see me, don't forget to ask to see the new cool lumpy bruises on my shins.

popsicle disaster

Ok. So is some poor ad or marketing exec getting fired for this idea?(http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/22/nyregion/22popsicle.html)

as a person "allergic" to kiwi, i could have died. if i lived in ny and decided licking a giant melting popsicle was a good way to say innocent children from drowning.

Now dubbed TomKat...

Weirder and weirder...
Read here (http://www.radarmagazine.com/fresh-intelligence/2005/06/17/index.php) about how before Katie Holmes was cast in Mission Impossible, Tom tried to convert all kinds of other young actresses to Scientology at least according to Scarlett Johanssen. If you're not interested in Katie Holmes Cruise, how can you turn a blind eye to Scarlett, Lindsey Lohan, Jessica Alba and Kate Bosworth? If we lose them, American culture is sunk!

THIS JUST IN!!!

As per the BBC and the New York Times, approximately one hour ago Tom Cruise proposed to Katie Holmes. At the Eiffel Tower. They have been dating for less than 2 months (see previous post.) Uhmmm.... ok. ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/entertainment/4102854.stm )
This deserves a lot of dialogue, hashing out. The reports of her being "really excited" about Scientology are, well, creepy but the most noteworthy thing I've learned of in my extensive Googling of the past 15 minutes is: www.freekatie.net
My favorite is the "Run Katie Run" T, but pick your own.

losing my edge

i guess i didn't ever really have an edge to begin with, but i recently decided that if there ever was a "hardcore" side to my personality, it is completely gone. This is based on the fact that I have discovered how much of a sucker I am for twin dogs puttering around san francisco. They are infinitely cute and adorable in pairs, especially when they are bulldogs or terriers or labs....or actually anything that isn't a chihuahua. I just want to grab them up in my arms and start parading them around, taking photos of them snuggling and hanging out together. I would probably even name them horrible corresponding names like "kibbles" and "bits" or "bonnie" and "clyde" or "prince william" and "prince harry" (putting "prince" in front just increases cuteness.)
yuck. what have i become.

Can't hide my disappointment in Corporate America

No, this is not about my job.
Erica got me addicted to diet Peach Iced Tea by Snapple. It feels slightly healthier than chugging bottles of diet Coke (an illusion, I'm sure) and is very tasty. And so I have reentered the world of the Snapple "Fact." (also, last week I won a Snapple lip balm, expected to arrive in 8-10 weeks) For awhile the Snapple Facts were somewhat normal... "Polar Bears have Black Skin." And things like that. The past two I've gotten have made me hoppin' mad, though. Yesterday, "Putting rubber bands on the ends of hangers will prevent clothes from slipping off." Yes. Now the Snapple facts are household physics. Not even, "Baking Soda and Vinegar will make a Volcano." But freaking Hints from Heloise. And today, "To take lumps out of a bag of sugar, place it in the refrigerator for 24 hours." Does anyone else find this weird? And, I'll say it, totally inappropriate! These are not Snapple facts. I expected more...

Quote of the Day

The following exchange took place between myself and a soon-to-be 3rd grader, while we waited outside a classroom for her turn to audition for placement in her orchestra next year in the un-air-conditioned third-floor hallway of a school on the Upper West Side. We'll call her Bonnie. She is about three feet tall and has just upgraded from a 1/8-size to a 1/4-size cello.

Bonnie: What are you?
Me: What do you mean, what am I?
Bonnie: Like, are you Catholic?
Me: Oh. No.
Bonnie: So what are you?
Me: I'm Jewish. Sort of.
Bonnie: I knew it!

I remember being her age and answering similar questions, only back then I knew right away what was being asked. And back then the answer was always much more glamorous: "I'm both." Meaning both Jewish and Christian (this being before the day of my mother's conversion and my Bat Mitzvah), and therefore the envy of all present-coveting children. I guess I'm just surprised that a decade and a half later, kids are still asking each other and their elders the same question. (I didn't ask what it was that gave me away as Jewish to a 7-year-old.)

A going-into-5th-grade flute player who we'll call Iggy had a similar question about the building we were in. Iggy's flute is the only one I've ever seen with a curved mouthpiece, as his arms are too short to reach all of the keys.

Iggy: (scratching his head, looking around at the artwork decorating the hallway) What kind of school is this?
Me: It's a Catholic school.
Iggy: Isn't there separation of church and state?
Me: (I laugh very loudly.)
Iggy: (shrugging) Well, I guess some people don't abide by it.

I tried to explain that there are actually a lot of religious schools, for all different religions, and that it's okay as long as they don't get money from the state. He seemed to get it.

Iggy: Oh. So it's not illegal, then.

High Drama on the 20th Floor

At work:
A man went running down the hall at about 10:30 this morning yelling, "does anyone know CPR?" I said no, when I do. I guess my certification is lapsed but I've been pumping, breathing and counting into dummies since taking Red Cross Babysitting the summer after 7th grade. Everyone got certified in Health class in 9th grade and all 3 summer I worked at YMCA camp I renewed. So why was my knee-jerk reaction to say no? On the surface, yeah, I was eating a bagel and didn't want to put my poppyseed mouth to somebody else's. But mostly I was scared, I think. Its been a long time, I don't want to fuck up. Then again, I would obivously be wracked with guilt if someone died I could have helped. And then I would consider myself the most selfish, terrible person alive. But for some reason now I don't, I just kind of want to study my movtivations and analyze it all.

Turns out one of the summer associates has a seizure condition and had a seizure. Note: The man obviously did not himself know CPR or he would have known that CPR is not what one needs during a seizure. People called security who called the paramedics who arrived approx. 10 minutes later they arrived (not a good sign for someone who actually would require CPR) The summer associate was fine but was taken to the hospital anyway, apparently he is on meds but has stopped taking them... this gave Maggie and I the opportunity to share seizure stories. I refrained from talking about my own baby seizures (since all I remember is a fireman laying me on the stairs and how uncomfortable it was) and elected to talk about a certain history professor at Wesleyan who warns each class that he may have a seizure, to just give him room and not to call 911. Yeah, right. Of course I'd call 911... I mean, it's not like I'd just stand there helplessly while someone suffers...