blast from the past

last friday night, i had a vivid dream about an old boyfriend. very old. as in, the last time we had a real conversation was 7 years ago. Both the relationship and this recent dream were very intense and i knew i needed to talk to him.

so, the next day, instead of spending the day reading about criminal procedure, i spent the day googling this old boyfriend. now, this was no easy task. the bloke is (was) a hippie and didn't believe in organized ANYTHING so he wasn't very easy to find. my search led me to ohio, illinois and finally washington state where i located his mother.

long story short, it turns out that my dream was not in vain. it had a reason. the old boyfriend is very sick. he almost died last week. so now what? i don't KNOW him anymore. but i did. i certainly don't LOVE him anymore. but i did. it's so strange to me how people come in and out of our lives. and i am feeling now that maybe people don't ever really leave our lives. if i can dream that i have to talk to a person i haven't even thought of in so long in the same week that this person almost died, doesn't that indicate some sort of subconscious connection? something in me knew that the energy was out of whack and had to be *fixed*.

don't get me wrong. i am not new age. i am not very spiritual. i am not psychic (at least not like patricia arquette on the hit show "medium.") but all this has got me thinking about how to deal with people that i used to know, but don't know anymore. as we get older, we'll have to think about these things more often. the more people we meet, the more people we have the potential to lose touch with and no longer know. so then, what happens when something happens to them?

all of a sudden, when life and death are on the line, regrets about what was said and what was left unsaid rise to the surface. is near-death a warning to reconnect with people we used to know? a second chance to at least make things right and acknowledge the place the person had in our lives? what about fame? if you woke up one morning and saw an old friend or lover on the today show, wouldn't you want to call them up and reconnect? i know i would.

and not be morbid, but as we get old(er), what about when you hear that an old friend or lover has died? flowers? attend the funeral? reach out to the family? wear a rubber bracelet in memory? ignore the situation all-together as you might if you read the obituary of a stranger?

what do we do with people that are strangers but used to not be strangers? this is the first time i have been confronted with such a situation. for now, i've written a letter and blogged. what about next time? can i count on bizarre dreams to alert me to things happening to people i used to know? should i make sure i don't *lose touch* with people i might want to follow up with later?

i think i'd like a device that functioned so that i could keep track of people who have mattered to me at all times but without having to actually maintain contact with the person. i envision something like a blackberry where i could type in a name and find out their contact info, occupation, love status, and general health status. i realize this would be creepy. but so was my dream. maybe i should join the CIA.