Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
An Update: I am bored
i could not be more bored and ready to get out of this place if i tried. my brain is done for the day and there is still a half an hour left.
i can find no relief. none.
i bought some shoes online: i do not have money
i looked online for local music shows: nothing i'm super psyched for.
i read about an incest case: not hot. maybe if they were less ugly?
i called some dying people: i do this daily for work so it was not thrilling.
i wandered around the office trying to look busy: i didn't look very busy.
i am hungry: i have no food.
my graduate student boyfriend spent the day laying in the park. so jealous.
someone is whistling in a not-a-song-just-making-noise way in some nearby cubicle and its driving me batty: seriously. batty.
i can find no relief. none.
i bought some shoes online: i do not have money
i looked online for local music shows: nothing i'm super psyched for.
i read about an incest case: not hot. maybe if they were less ugly?
i called some dying people: i do this daily for work so it was not thrilling.
i wandered around the office trying to look busy: i didn't look very busy.
i am hungry: i have no food.
my graduate student boyfriend spent the day laying in the park. so jealous.
someone is whistling in a not-a-song-just-making-noise way in some nearby cubicle and its driving me batty: seriously. batty.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Some Updates from NYC
It's a beautiful day in New York--someone said it's 81 degrees! It was hard to tear myself away from my lunch break, which was spent sitting on the Hudson River looking at yachts and the Statue of Liberty, sort of reading a magazine but really listening to the French tourists next to me and trying not to spill balsamic vinegar dressing on my newly dry-cleaned pants.
The pope is here. As Juliet pointed out, it's surprising that so many people in New York care about this. True, he has his own town/prinicpality, and true, there are lots of Catholics in New York. But, just like when I'm surprised at how many people wear ashes on Ash Wednesday, I forget these things.
Tomorrow I am traveling to Oceanside, Long Island, to go to a Passover seder at a good friend's parents' home. They are Orthodox--like I can't even call my friend on the walk from the station to his house because he can't pick up the phone (and I have to walk from his house because no one is allowed to drive). They are also rich. Because I went to a Godless university and have a father who likes to talk about how he thinks polytheism (I almost wrote polygamy) is the way to go, I tend to assume that people would only be really religious because they are struggling. I'm interested to see how it works. Where does the money stop and the faith begin? Or are they so mixed up with each other that it's not even worth asking?
I am working at a corporation for the first time in my life. Temporarily. There is a lingo to learn here, even in philanthropy. It is completely unavoidable and consists of words and phrases such as:
-moving forward
-reach out
-wordsmith
-language
-partners
To use these words in context: "Before we can move forward, I'd like Erica to reach out to our partners at the Met and ask them to wordsmith the language in their program description." I hear each of these words daily, without fail.
In other news, to echo a post of Sarah's back in the CWT days, corporations give you a lot of free shit. Like a lot.
I have been working on a post about how I am scared of teenagers for a while now, but instead I decided to ramble on about nothing. I need to leave this office immediately and start the weekend. I also need a tan.
PS, if you are looking for a good date, go see Shine a Light at an IMAX theater. It rocks.
The pope is here. As Juliet pointed out, it's surprising that so many people in New York care about this. True, he has his own town/prinicpality, and true, there are lots of Catholics in New York. But, just like when I'm surprised at how many people wear ashes on Ash Wednesday, I forget these things.
Tomorrow I am traveling to Oceanside, Long Island, to go to a Passover seder at a good friend's parents' home. They are Orthodox--like I can't even call my friend on the walk from the station to his house because he can't pick up the phone (and I have to walk from his house because no one is allowed to drive). They are also rich. Because I went to a Godless university and have a father who likes to talk about how he thinks polytheism (I almost wrote polygamy) is the way to go, I tend to assume that people would only be really religious because they are struggling. I'm interested to see how it works. Where does the money stop and the faith begin? Or are they so mixed up with each other that it's not even worth asking?
I am working at a corporation for the first time in my life. Temporarily. There is a lingo to learn here, even in philanthropy. It is completely unavoidable and consists of words and phrases such as:
-moving forward
-reach out
-wordsmith
-language
-partners
To use these words in context: "Before we can move forward, I'd like Erica to reach out to our partners at the Met and ask them to wordsmith the language in their program description." I hear each of these words daily, without fail.
In other news, to echo a post of Sarah's back in the CWT days, corporations give you a lot of free shit. Like a lot.
I have been working on a post about how I am scared of teenagers for a while now, but instead I decided to ramble on about nothing. I need to leave this office immediately and start the weekend. I also need a tan.
PS, if you are looking for a good date, go see Shine a Light at an IMAX theater. It rocks.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
apparently people who have the right to free speech should be content with just "having" it and not try to excercise it.
like we want to have our cake and it too? or does the new york times just think that if you live in a capitalist society your purchases come with fine print that then says, ok you can have this commodity on the cheap but in return, you give up any right to challenge the government of the country that produced said commodity.
and oh! the poor olympics. their suffering is so SO much worse than that of Tibetans. I mean, priorities people!
"Millions of people around the world are critical of China for its control of Tibet and Xinjiang as well as its identification with the tribal murders in Darfur. But should the Olympics pay the price for widespread governmental aggression and diplomatic failures? Should people who enjoy free speech put on their sneakers from China, their T-shirts and jeans from China, their ball caps from China, their sunglasses from China, in order to disrupt a runner carrying a torch through a free city?"
-http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/10/sports/othersports/10vecsey.html?_r=1&ref=othersports&oref=slogin
and oh! the poor olympics. their suffering is so SO much worse than that of Tibetans. I mean, priorities people!
"Millions of people around the world are critical of China for its control of Tibet and Xinjiang as well as its identification with the tribal murders in Darfur. But should the Olympics pay the price for widespread governmental aggression and diplomatic failures? Should people who enjoy free speech put on their sneakers from China, their T-shirts and jeans from China, their ball caps from China, their sunglasses from China, in order to disrupt a runner carrying a torch through a free city?"
-http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/10/sports/othersports/10vecsey.html?_r=1&ref=othersports&oref=slogin
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
OH, my ovaries.
After many years of lesbian domesticity, I recently joined the ranks of the boygirl sex world. While I'd previously dated boys (ok fine, boy singular but he was so overwhelming I'd like to think I've been with many) its been many years since getting my period signaled a flood of relief throughout my being that I would not have to put my pro-choice politics to work. While I'd always been aware of how lucky I was in that respect, it's only now that I've come to understand just how lucky I was. Not only is straight sex is way more expensive than gay sex, it demands way more preparation and upkeep. It's really truly ridiculous.
Since I'm relatively new to the world of contraceptives, I thought I'd throw in my two cents. Cause I mean, what else do I have to do? It is commonly understood that the available forms of contraceptives out there are a pitiful offering. Even under a gay rock, I shared in the common rage and frustration. How many times have you heard some poor dear lament, "How the hell is it possible that in the year 2007, with all the medical and technological feats that have been made, we are really no further to ever getting decent birth control?! Why are they working endlessly on creating never-ending erections and getting horses to give birth to cloned sheep, and not putting a little more thought into something that we really fucking need!? Why is it so expensive? Why is the responsibility and the expense all on the woman? Why do all the options suck? Why is it ok for my health insurance to not cover this? How come its legal for pharmacists to not sell me my prescription on personal grounds? Why do I have to put my hormones, my emotional health, my weight, my physical health and my few hard earned dollars on the line? How is it possible that the same government that is steadily dismantling Roe v. Wade is also making it harder for me to protect myself from ever needing to make use of the law? What on earth!!!!!?"
I don't know the answers to most of those questions and I want to change it. But in the meantime, I want to make sure that I can change it, instead of changing diapers. Not including the rhythm method and plain old prayer, we're looking at 6 options:
1) condoms
2) pill
3) patch
4) shot
5) ring
6) iud
Since condoms are really annoying when you're only sleeping with one person, that's off the list, so really it's 5 options. First off, the pill. Many people are quite content with the hormonal route and to them I say "goddamn i am jealous." But having learned the hard way with a brief but crappy flirtation with ortho-tricyclin, hormonal methods of birth control are not for everyone. Nevertheless, my problem with the pill goes beyond the emotional effects: it requires a level of daily responsibility that I am certainly not incapable of, but would rather not have to deal with. Remembering to take it each day at the right time? That's just annoying and causes a very low grade but constant level of vigilance and stress. I'm not having it. Plus, raise your hand if your partner has ever chipped in for your prescription co-pay. yeah.
The patch and the shot are more attractive in the daily upkeep department. But like the pill, they both work by making major alterations to your estrogen levels. If I could protect myself from pregnancy without gaining 30 pounds, getting countless y.i.'s, and sacrificing a certain level of emotional and mental stability, oh how I would. Many people can. Since I can't, that scratches off the patch and shot.
Leaving me with only 2 options: the ring or the iud. I prudently opted for the more temporary, less invasive and more technologically advanced option of the nuva ring. Since it too works by releasing hormones, I was initially quite anti-ring, but my doctor promised me that it was such a localized small dose that there was no way I'd be emotionally affected. A few weeks later, I'm waiting for a meeting with a psychiatrist to figure out why I've completely lost my mind. I assumed it was a separate chemical issue. But I'm looking online to find out if I'm the only one on the ring who has had her period for almost an entire month nonstop and lo and behold, a message board with dozens of women saying "WTF!? My doctor said it wouldn't affect my emotions, but why am i spiraling off into voids of anger and depression at random?" and I'm reading this and thinking, "um, hello lily! perhaps its time to cancel the psychiatric appointment?' So I scrapped both the ring and the psychiatrist, and slowly emerged from my hole of sadness. a few weeks later I am sane, but protectionless.
Which left me with one final option: the iud. So I did it. I feel so retro! I feel so sore! But I'm crossing my fingers that just this once protection could be easy and reliable. is that so much to ask? i think not. It certainly does not answer the questions of finance and inequality: 500 uninsured dollars paid entirely from my nonexistent salary. And while it promises 5 years of total ease, it was still one of the more painful procedures I've had done in my life. Still, I am hopeful. While it got a bad rap somewhere in the 80's, the negative rumors have been fairly unfounded and every doctor and article I've consulted has agreed that it is the most effective option out there and the simplest to use. So we shall see.
I suppose it's a bit odd that I've now shared the trials and tribulations of my uterus with a bunch of total strangers, but i feel like this is an issue that is often grappled with but rarely questioned. It's not enough to sit around with your lady friends saying, dude, this sucks. yeah, it does. yeah.
Because DUDE: this more than sucks. What on earth? I know I'm clearly on a very extreme end of the hormonal-sensitivity spectrum, but I wanted to offer my experiences because I'm pissed off and its not just pms. It's the whole goddamn system. Something has to change. What are we going to do about it?
Since I'm relatively new to the world of contraceptives, I thought I'd throw in my two cents. Cause I mean, what else do I have to do? It is commonly understood that the available forms of contraceptives out there are a pitiful offering. Even under a gay rock, I shared in the common rage and frustration. How many times have you heard some poor dear lament, "How the hell is it possible that in the year 2007, with all the medical and technological feats that have been made, we are really no further to ever getting decent birth control?! Why are they working endlessly on creating never-ending erections and getting horses to give birth to cloned sheep, and not putting a little more thought into something that we really fucking need!? Why is it so expensive? Why is the responsibility and the expense all on the woman? Why do all the options suck? Why is it ok for my health insurance to not cover this? How come its legal for pharmacists to not sell me my prescription on personal grounds? Why do I have to put my hormones, my emotional health, my weight, my physical health and my few hard earned dollars on the line? How is it possible that the same government that is steadily dismantling Roe v. Wade is also making it harder for me to protect myself from ever needing to make use of the law? What on earth!!!!!?"
I don't know the answers to most of those questions and I want to change it. But in the meantime, I want to make sure that I can change it, instead of changing diapers. Not including the rhythm method and plain old prayer, we're looking at 6 options:
1) condoms
2) pill
3) patch
4) shot
5) ring
6) iud
Since condoms are really annoying when you're only sleeping with one person, that's off the list, so really it's 5 options. First off, the pill. Many people are quite content with the hormonal route and to them I say "goddamn i am jealous." But having learned the hard way with a brief but crappy flirtation with ortho-tricyclin, hormonal methods of birth control are not for everyone. Nevertheless, my problem with the pill goes beyond the emotional effects: it requires a level of daily responsibility that I am certainly not incapable of, but would rather not have to deal with. Remembering to take it each day at the right time? That's just annoying and causes a very low grade but constant level of vigilance and stress. I'm not having it. Plus, raise your hand if your partner has ever chipped in for your prescription co-pay. yeah.
The patch and the shot are more attractive in the daily upkeep department. But like the pill, they both work by making major alterations to your estrogen levels. If I could protect myself from pregnancy without gaining 30 pounds, getting countless y.i.'s, and sacrificing a certain level of emotional and mental stability, oh how I would. Many people can. Since I can't, that scratches off the patch and shot.
Leaving me with only 2 options: the ring or the iud. I prudently opted for the more temporary, less invasive and more technologically advanced option of the nuva ring. Since it too works by releasing hormones, I was initially quite anti-ring, but my doctor promised me that it was such a localized small dose that there was no way I'd be emotionally affected. A few weeks later, I'm waiting for a meeting with a psychiatrist to figure out why I've completely lost my mind. I assumed it was a separate chemical issue. But I'm looking online to find out if I'm the only one on the ring who has had her period for almost an entire month nonstop and lo and behold, a message board with dozens of women saying "WTF!? My doctor said it wouldn't affect my emotions, but why am i spiraling off into voids of anger and depression at random?" and I'm reading this and thinking, "um, hello lily! perhaps its time to cancel the psychiatric appointment?' So I scrapped both the ring and the psychiatrist, and slowly emerged from my hole of sadness. a few weeks later I am sane, but protectionless.
Which left me with one final option: the iud. So I did it. I feel so retro! I feel so sore! But I'm crossing my fingers that just this once protection could be easy and reliable. is that so much to ask? i think not. It certainly does not answer the questions of finance and inequality: 500 uninsured dollars paid entirely from my nonexistent salary. And while it promises 5 years of total ease, it was still one of the more painful procedures I've had done in my life. Still, I am hopeful. While it got a bad rap somewhere in the 80's, the negative rumors have been fairly unfounded and every doctor and article I've consulted has agreed that it is the most effective option out there and the simplest to use. So we shall see.
I suppose it's a bit odd that I've now shared the trials and tribulations of my uterus with a bunch of total strangers, but i feel like this is an issue that is often grappled with but rarely questioned. It's not enough to sit around with your lady friends saying, dude, this sucks. yeah, it does. yeah.
Because DUDE: this more than sucks. What on earth? I know I'm clearly on a very extreme end of the hormonal-sensitivity spectrum, but I wanted to offer my experiences because I'm pissed off and its not just pms. It's the whole goddamn system. Something has to change. What are we going to do about it?
Saturday, October 13, 2007
If these phones could talk
I got rid of my text messaging when I was living in Portland last fall. A variety of factors led to the decision: zero social life, zero money, several ex-boyfriends, etc.
Back in New York, I heard from friends on a daily basis about how much they hated having to call me. How much easier it would be if I just had texting.
It was only once I started dating someone that I finally caved and picked up (flipped open) my phone and called Verizon to sign up for a modest monthly texting plan. My friends saw right through me, but they texted anyway.
It felt good to be back. My motorolla tried to fill in the words before I finished typing and I had to be careful to correct it. I'd want to type "good" and the phone would just assume "home." I'd dial 43, it would give me "if," and I'd select "he" instead. It took time, but it eventually adjusted.
I'm no longer seeing the guy, but I'm now used to texting. My phone has kept track of the transition. It has returned to banking on it being "home" rather than "good." I'll go for "on," and it will give me "no." I recently tried to say "my" and, I swear to god, it made the leap to "oy." That pretty much says it all.
Back in New York, I heard from friends on a daily basis about how much they hated having to call me. How much easier it would be if I just had texting.
It was only once I started dating someone that I finally caved and picked up (flipped open) my phone and called Verizon to sign up for a modest monthly texting plan. My friends saw right through me, but they texted anyway.
It felt good to be back. My motorolla tried to fill in the words before I finished typing and I had to be careful to correct it. I'd want to type "good" and the phone would just assume "home." I'd dial 43, it would give me "if," and I'd select "he" instead. It took time, but it eventually adjusted.
I'm no longer seeing the guy, but I'm now used to texting. My phone has kept track of the transition. It has returned to banking on it being "home" rather than "good." I'll go for "on," and it will give me "no." I recently tried to say "my" and, I swear to god, it made the leap to "oy." That pretty much says it all.
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